T- minus 77 hours, Day 148

I have to admit that I am a little worried about the upcoming trip. I am worried that I am going to arrive in Guatemala, I am going to see firsthand the reality of the devastation, my heart will then break, and I will begin crying never to stop.

One of the missionaries down there right now posted something about how she just talked with a pregnant woman, “who lost her home and 5 of her family members… her story could be told many times over.” The saddest part of this for me is that I can see their faces. I have been there. I have fallen in love with the people. I have played so joyously with the little children. I’ve prayed over despairing mothers. I’m not prepared to see those kinds of tears in those precious eyes.

I sit here in my air-conditioned mansion typing away at my computer, delicious filling dinner digesting within my stomach, my husband watching television in the background with our two little dogs and cat who probably ate more this evening than many of the people in Guatemala. I’m not sure I’m prepared to see that kind of devastation.

I’m ready to go. I can’t wait to go. But I cannot get over the harsh reality of what I’m about to step into. And then I shall leave, and they’ll all still be there, and a little hope with have been given, a little love will have been shared, a ton of clothes will have been distributed, and I dare say A LOT of hard work will have been executed, but I will return to luxury and they will still be hungry.

My heart is already breaking and I haven’t seen it yet. I cannot imagine what it will look like. And honestly who debates with themselves over the purchase of a cup of tea as emphatically as I do. I’m genuinely terrified of how I might return. I might never buy a new article of clothing for the rest of my life after this trip. I’m going to look like a hobo in a few years.

I’ll leave it at that… for now.

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor... to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities... Isaiah 61:1-4

P.S. in the Quiche language "Quiche" is two words which means "Many Trees."