In industrial society time rules supreme. Via the machine [industrial society], time has become our ruler. Only in our free hours do we seem to have a certain choice. Yet we usually organize our leisure as we organize our work. Or we rebel against tyrant time by being absolutely lazy. By not doing anything except disobeying time’s demands, we have the illusion that we are free, when we are, in fact, only paroled from our time-prison.
-Erich Fromm
Still going through crap but I have a confession to make. I've been slacking lately. My 365 days with Erich Fromm and Jesus has experienced several days without Jesus. Whenever I get attacked (massive headache for days, severe cold that after more than a week is finally almost gone, recent spout of depression accompanied by ridiculous weakness and stupidity) I forget about God. I haven’t read the Bible, I've barely prayed, and I haven’t spent any time with God for several days. I feel awful, I’m trying to “work” my way out of it and I’m not getting anywhere. I just want to sit on the couch and not move ever again. Well maybe I’ll move now and again to get food and go to my bedroom where I’ll lay on my bed and not move ever again. I rebel against time when I feel that I haven’t any. But how does my rebellion; wasting time… sitting… not doing anything… how does this accomplish anything? I still feel obligated to pick back up where I left off after my lazing around is through and I’m still tired and weak and disgruntled.
The kindergarten cause and effect lesson that I've learned in terms of this repeating scenario is that when I chose "the one good thing" and sit and the feet of Jesus life is beautiful, there’s meaning, joy and peace. I have the strength that I need to live, to move forward, and to tackle the tasks that present themselves. Time isn't an enemy because I can live in each moment. I increase and grow and feel revitalized just by breathing. When I Martha it up and forget that the answer to all of my questions is sitting on a chair in just the other room then I fall apart and time attacks me and I long for future moments, moments of escape from my labor, escape from the routine, escape from the machine.
I was thinking intently upon this little lesson this morning and I felt some powerful religiosity kick in. I became a tad bit angry with God for punishing me with the depression and weakness and what not during my little rendezvous away from Him. I was thinking precisely as every laborer does who has to perform and keep up to par. Then something inside of me tapped at my heart and whispered, "you don’t actually believe that do you?" I don’t believe God is punishing me for ignoring Him anymore than I believe He punishes someone for sticking their hand in fire. I believe that I need Him. I’m not saying that God doesn't punish people. I’m almost positive that He does. But I don’t believe that God gives me depression or weakness. I don’t believe that God even gets angry with me for my escapades.
Everything I've been learning lately pertains to the condition of my heart. I think that if I’m working on my relationship with God because I believe He’ll be angry or punish me otherwise then He would rather I not. He wants me to love him because I love him not because he told me to. The benefit of walking with Him (as opposed to all alone) is that I've got a really great helper and a very wise voice accompanying me along the way and the way becomes manageable as opposed to unbearable.
The kindergarten cause and effect lesson that I've learned in terms of this repeating scenario is that when I chose "the one good thing" and sit and the feet of Jesus life is beautiful, there’s meaning, joy and peace. I have the strength that I need to live, to move forward, and to tackle the tasks that present themselves. Time isn't an enemy because I can live in each moment. I increase and grow and feel revitalized just by breathing. When I Martha it up and forget that the answer to all of my questions is sitting on a chair in just the other room then I fall apart and time attacks me and I long for future moments, moments of escape from my labor, escape from the routine, escape from the machine.
I was thinking intently upon this little lesson this morning and I felt some powerful religiosity kick in. I became a tad bit angry with God for punishing me with the depression and weakness and what not during my little rendezvous away from Him. I was thinking precisely as every laborer does who has to perform and keep up to par. Then something inside of me tapped at my heart and whispered, "you don’t actually believe that do you?" I don’t believe God is punishing me for ignoring Him anymore than I believe He punishes someone for sticking their hand in fire. I believe that I need Him. I’m not saying that God doesn't punish people. I’m almost positive that He does. But I don’t believe that God gives me depression or weakness. I don’t believe that God even gets angry with me for my escapades.
Everything I've been learning lately pertains to the condition of my heart. I think that if I’m working on my relationship with God because I believe He’ll be angry or punish me otherwise then He would rather I not. He wants me to love him because I love him not because he told me to. The benefit of walking with Him (as opposed to all alone) is that I've got a really great helper and a very wise voice accompanying me along the way and the way becomes manageable as opposed to unbearable.
For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.
Ps. 84:10
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