A natural tendency towards having, Day 186

There were two adorable little kittens at a pot luck I attended yesterday. I held one for a bit, made the little guy purr, he snuggled me, and I was overcome by his cuteness. I wanted so badly to take him home with me. Which is funny because I do not want another cat. I don’t want to have to buy food for another cat. I don’t want to have to clean up after another cat. The cat I already have wouldn’t like another cat. Simply because of that tiny kittens overwhelmingly adorable cuteness I felt the need to bring it home with me, to HAVE it. There really wasn’t any other explanation for my wanting that kitten. But something so strongly deep within me was telling me that I needed to have that kitten. Logic and emotions, subconscious, whatever you want to call it so often tend to oppose each other. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

This year has been very interesting for me. I’ve been paying such constant conscious attention to my desires to have verses my desires to experience. I could easily visit that kitten and play with it, admire its adorable little face, ears, paws, ect; snuggle the little guy, and cause him to purr. I could easily and quite regularly experience all the aspects of the kitten which caused me to want to HAVE it but that’s not what my subconscious or my acquired nature told me to do. It’s honestly not natural for me to want to experience. Something inside of me tells me that I need to have, to be in control, to possess a thing in order for it have value (in my life).

If we were able to appreciate the world around us for what it is; if we were able to enjoy it and experience it; to increase and grow due to its very existence and not because we’re able to possess it there would be so much less pollution and destruction, debt and bondage, so much less need and emptiness. We’ve been blessed beyond comprehension by the wonderful creation that surrounds us, that we’re apart of each and every single day but our desires, our drive to have, to possess, to own, to conquer blinds us to the simple beauty that envelopes our lives.