Two days ago I had to stop a few times every hour to ask my monster what it was roaring about. Because when it said coffee it meant peace, when it roared sugar it meant joy, when is growled for me to collapse into a pile of nothingness it was just trying to get me to calm down, breath deep, and let the tension go. After half the day had elapsed I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it to the finish line. All that stopping and reasoning and chatting with the little beast was almost as exhausting as fighting with it. Trying to come up with creative productive ways to silence it's moaning was very difficult. I began to question everything. Until I realized that the new method was WAY better than the old one. I was actually getting somewhere... granted it was getting exhausting and my goal was essentially rest but I wasn't trudging around in depression and fighting a losing battle. I was taming the beast.
Today was much easier and much MUCH more peaceful than yesterday. The little guy still roared but I am getting quicker at hearing protein when he says hamburger (which is just an example by the way. I virtually never want hamburgers). I don't remember feeling depressed or heavy today. And my monster is starting to look less like a beast and more like a small child, like maybe the kid in me (who didn't have much of a shot at actually being a kid) is starting to take off the costume I handed it about 15 years ago.
And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 1 Corinthians 9:25
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