frustration and sparkle, Day 14

In the structure of being, the alive and inexpressible experience rules.
-Erich Fromm


I had to move 17 heavy boxes from the front yard to the garage today. I lazily left them sitting in the cold snowy outdoors for several days now. The sun came out today and the snow has been melting which mustered up enough motivation for me to carry the dumb things to shelter (they’re boxes for work, I get ALOT of boxes for work). As I huffed and puffed and stumbled through several feet of un-shoveled snow (the boxes aren’t the only thing I’ve left unattended) I was on the verge of anger, frustration; the regular negativity. But then I caught a glimpse of the snow which sparkled like diamonds and glitter in the bright shining sun. The beauty of the twinkling flakes, the brilliant white, beautiful yellows, tiny flecks of pink, and the glorious blues where the shadows lay caused me to stop in my stumbly tracks. All of the negativity that welled within me melted as I embraced the moment of beauty. Consciously I thought to myself, “how can I be angry at this task when it alone is allowing me to partake of this awesome beauty.” After all, had I not been driven to move the boxes I would not have been out of doors.

Overhead the sky was an amazing periwinkle, clear as could be, and one of my all time favorite colors. Actual warmth from the sun shining brightly amongst the beautiful blue caressed my cheeks. The day was perfect. My frustration almost blinded me to it. I am learning. It’s almost miraculous, being able to notice, embrace, and find joy in the little things; being able to see life.

You have made known to me the ways of life; You will make me full of joy in Your presence.
Acts 2:28