Desiring to LIVE (part 2), Day 286

There are these overwhelmingly tremendous desires within me, pleading their case to every fiber of my being but I cast them aside as too unrealistic. I am a realist after all, the glass being neither half empty nor half full but simply a glass containing liquid.

Have you ever sat down and pondered the splendor of this world? I mean really considered that the North Pole actually exists, that you could see it personally if you exerted enough energy. Africa is a place anyone can go; the elephants and giraffes, zebras and lions live untamed in the wild where anyone who so desired could walk along side them (not advised). The rainforests are just sitting there for anyone to tread through. Ancient wonders, remnants of past civilizations scatter the planet. They aren’t just things of books and documentaries. Australia, Russia, and Japan are all real places. Amazing societies exist outside of the one you live in. Beautiful cultures and languages span the earth. They’re there, accessible.

I am extremely thankful for the life I live. I like my home A LOT. I’m beyond blessed by the friends and family that surround me. But I feel like I exist in a bubble. Work, home, work, home, work, home… its ok, but when my mind considers the world spanning out beyond my bubble I wonder why the bubble must be. The answer resoundingly comes to me: Money and irresponsibility.

I feel I have the resources to penetrate the bubble but I waste them. Something about enjoying now*, not considering the future, and wasting opportunities envelopes my life. I don’t want to live in a bubble. I want Alaska to be real. I want to experience Ireland again. I want to step foot in Transylvania. I want to drink coffee in Sweden. I know, I truly believe, I’m certain that if a person works diligently enough towards a means they will reach the desired end. (thank the Lord for America) BUT I forget, I overlook, the bubble seems such a concrete reality and despite the desire within pleading for fulfillment to escape the bubble I continually ground myself to its definity (I think I just made that word up but I’m certain is should be a word). It’s sort of driving me crazy. And I’ll stop there.


*There’s a difference between “enjoying now” monetarily and wasting resources that could be better utilized if I were to consider the future, work towards a goal, and grow towards a greater means and “enjoying now” as a lifestyle, noticing the world that surrounds me, appreciating it at all times, continually increasing, growing and experiencing life no matter the situation that presents itself.