THIS IS MY 2010 BLOG... revisited 5 years later

Saturday, September 25, 2010

REALLY Long blog about facebook, Day 243

I like facebook because it’s an easy way to keep in touch with people you might not ever connect with otherwise. It’s neat so easily being able to see photos of the happenings in the lives of people you care about. That little red bubble offers a momentary thrill like one receives from a letter in their mailbox. And it seems an easy way to exploit yourself to hundreds of other people.

I hate facebook because it offers a sneak peek into a self created self centered cyber world of impersonal figmental relationships that elude us to believe something contrary to reality. All the statuses, all the comments, all the quotes, build up a public identity for each facebook individual. Following a persons’ gibber gabber leads one to believe they’ve an understanding, a connection, a relation to that cyber person.  But we only present one, two, maybe three sides of ourselves with our constant spewing. Some are craftier than others with their postings, purposely portraying who they wish to be seen as. While others might not even think about the identity they’re creating for themselves in cyber space. I will give some the benefit of the doubt and credit them with absolute transparency but these I believe to be few and far between. It’s impossible to post your entire life on facebook. It’s not that we don’t do this same sort of identity safe guarding in the flesh but face to face it’s easier to see through the masks. When dealing with flesh one’s able to use all of their senses. When someone says something questionable you can hear the tone in which it was presented, you can see the expression worn during deliverance.

These illusionary connections are made between absolute strangers. People who knew each other for a brief few moments become “friends” and watch each other’s cyber lives unfolding daily for what purpose? Connection? Relationship? A greater understanding of the human race? I cannot honestly say. I wonder if facebook is a good way to stay in touch and keep friendships alive or if it’s just a really good illusion of relationship. There are people I am “friends” with on facebook who’s statuses I comment on, photos I look at, and honestly who’s self created cyber lives I pass judgment upon who I don’t even say hi to in passing or who don’t acknowledge me when in close proximity. Are we secret friends, cyber friends, or merely not friends at all? And then begs my earlier question what’s the purpose of the facebook relationship? Amusement? Entertainment? An ego boosting ability to declare a greater number of connections than ones neighbor?

I guess facebook is sort of like a really simple free way to write endless letters or for endless communication back and forth with our “friends.” But unlike myspace where the ruling act was leaving comments for friends facebook is very self centered. People are much more likely to update their statuses (something myspace initially did not have) so that everyone might know about ME than they are likely to leave comments/ communication for others. Facebook is very self centered even if the self being displayed is entirely at that individual’s discretion and may in no way reflect reality.  

It all bothers me so much I can’t stand it but I’m addicted and it’s very much a way of life. I fear I would lose very dear friendships were I to boycott the monster altogether. So should I just deny everyone who requests my “friendship” who I’m not truly friends with. I feel that would be cruel, especially in this facebook centered era. Do I need to pursue real friendships with these individuals in order to avoid feeling duped, deceived, used, and exploited? I cannot maintain that many friendships and there are people I just don’t want to be friends with. I could hide everyone I’ve befriended who isn’t really my friend but honestly I think that’s stupid. I hate facebook but it’s more prevalent in my life than any human contact. I DO NOT call people on the phone anymore. Phone calls seem an intrusion now. Why call someone when you can conveniently upon your desired timing and theirs communicate with them through facebook?

I feel like facebook is essentially an unnatural way for people to gossip about themselves to hundreds of people at one time. But why? I cannot find an answer. I don’t believe the connections hold much validity unless there’s solid actual connection in real life but generally there isn’t. And a lot of times I feel that facebook may actually chip away at the solidity of the real relationship. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve learned of new life soon to be introduced into this world from facebook. Can I really call someone my friend who’s pregnancy I learned of from facebook? I don’t like finding of about divorce from facebook. I don’t like knowing that I wasn’t invited to someone’s party after having seen the photos on facebook. I hate that I judge anyone based on their postings on facebook or for that matter that someone might equally so be judging me. I want to stay connected to people I care about that I hardly ever see or perhaps don’t have any ability to see. I like that my friends offer tid bits about themselves which I don’t have to elicit. I enjoy that we’re willing to display our lives for public viewing freely and regularly BUT is the loss of human connection because of the effortless cyber connection that we’ve gained worth all the extra frills and thrills?

In the society of “having” facebook is a giant commodity. People who have facebook have relationships, friendships, and information about people and society. Losing this commodity means losing a part of one’s self, of one’s ego. A loss of facebook is a loss of connection to the world (although it would mean gaining an incredibly large amount of free time). I fear I could go on forever, but to what means. At present it seems like one of those necessary evils. I guess I just wanted to vent that I think it might be evil.

So the LORD spoke to Moses FACE TO FACE, as a man speaks to his friend. Ex. 33:11

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